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If you are a young guy looking for ideas on how to approach women The Art Of Approaching will offer you plenty to think about. There are many sound strategies to choose from, all of which are described in great detail. |
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The main problem with this book lies in the sheer amount of material that you have to wade through before you can safely slam the book shut and start putting Joseph Matthew's ideas into practice. The material is also targeted more to the younger male than the mature guy. |
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4.6 / 5 |
"Dude, after following the tips in your free mini-course, I went out and got laid by THREE drop-dead gorgeous women, including one girl I've had the hots for and have known for three years. You rock!"
- Alan C., Texas
"I haven't talked to a girl in forever, I was way too shy. But I used the confidence exercises from your mini-course to go out and finally meet a girl. We hit it off, and she's now my girlfriend! Thank You!"
- Geoff D., Ohio
"Love the book man. I especially liked your bootcamp section that made me get off my lazy ass and just approach anyone that's easy on the eyes. It's made me so much more comfortable with approaches that when a true HB rolls in, I have no problem opening her. I'm still at a very infantile stage in my game but I've gotten more numbers this past month than all of last year."
- Sigmund Y., Texas
If you are a college-age male looking to completely revise your approach to women, then this may be the book for you. Joseph wrote his mini treatise on the art of approaching women when he was in his mid twenties, and he often draws from college life experience in his writing, so you will likely relate the most to his stories if you happen to be in college or not so long removed from it.
In fact, his approaches to dealing with women probably will not suit the mature guy (out of his thirties), as some shedding of dignity is required to pull off at least a few of the strategies advocated in The Art Of Approaching.
Joseph also describes himself as the prototypical loser-with-woman who one day had an epiphany about his life and the complete absence of women from it. He managed to turn that epiphany into not only success with women, but into a business in which he teaches other men the art of approaching women successfully.
In short, if you are a young guy looking to enjoy the kind of SUCCESS with woman that other males your age are having, then you can feel CONFIDENT that you have selected a book that was written specifically with YOU in mind, and which offers solid strategies that you can put into effect IMMEDIATELY.
Joseph Matthews believes that 10 percent of the male population enjoys 90 percent of the success when it comes to dating women. His aim is to put YOU into that 10 percent. It is an ambitious goal, but he has 350+ pages of solid content to get you there.
In accordance with the theme of the book which, although the word Art is mentioned in the title, is really about the Science of how to introduce yourself to women in a way that will lead to a romantic encounter, all of the main sections are essentially presented as doctrines: The Art of Body Language, The Art of Flirting, and so on.
Fortunately, but for the exception of a few of these sections - which present far too much theory for my liking - the bulk of the content is backed up by related instances that demonstrate cleary what the author is trying to teach us. This is one of Joseph Matthews key strengths. He is able to paint the scene, populate it with lively characters, and add dialog that moves the story along nicely and has that ring of authenticity to it.
In all seriousness, there is simply too much content in this book to delve into any of it in any level of detail without at the same time presenting a biased view because of what has NOT been mentioned. So you will have to settle for a brief glimpse at the section titles, and read my full review (below) to find out just how useful all of this material is for the guy looking to up his game:
- THE ART OF RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
- THE ART OF BELIEF
- THE ART OF BODY LANGUAGE
- THE ART OF CONFIDENCE
- THE ART OF APPROACHING
- THE ART OF DATING
- THE ART OF FLIRTING
- THE ART OF STORYTELLING
- THE ART OF BEING SOCIAL
- THE ART OF SEDUCTION
The good news is that Joseph has delivered up LOTS of useful stuff, even if it may be necessary to wade through it to find the elements that can best be tailored to your own approach to women.
This book starts off with a recap of its history and how, even recently, Joseph still finds himself challenged to prove that the ideas in his book really do work to secure his success with women. We are given a "live" demonstration of his attempt to pick up four women in a setting where, traditionally, it is very difficult to make any headway - the dreaded bar scenario. Can he insert himself into a group of women who are complete strangers, and win their affections within a matter of minutes?
Of course, this is exactly what he does, and in doing so he lays the foundation for his art of approaching women. It is a fairly convincing pickup approach, but will we - his audience - be able to reproduce the same kind of success using his techniques? The answer is yes. With some practice, the methods outlined in this book can only help to IMPROVE your chances of attracting the kind of attention from women that you have always dreamed of.
The first thing that struck me about Joseph Matthews, as I began reading him, is that I very much enjoy the passages of his writing that reproduce real-life scenarios. As a novelist myself, it is easy to recognize narrative talent in another writer when I come across it. I am also left with the feeling that, if I were to write a guide on how to date women successfully, I would be telling you many of the things that Joseph puts forth in his book. I also agree whole-heartedly with his assertion that there is nothing wrong with trying to improve your chances of success with women by getting your education, in part, from a book.
"Attraction is a skill," says Joseph, "just like Basketball is a skill, or golfing is a skill, or carpentry, playing video games, and cooking. You're not born knowing how to do these things. You LEARN how to do them."
I believe this to be utterly true. The reality is that virtually everything you do really well at in life is the result of "book learning". At least initially.
Yes, you can learn solely by doing, but generally it will take you ten times longer to get where you want to go if you don't use the experiences of others to avoid repeating the common mistakes. When it comes to women, most guys (the 90 percent who aren't born with the headstart that comes of close to physical perfection) simply don't have that amount of time to get it right by going at it through trial and error.
So that's what this book is about. Finding the shortcuts that experience would eventually teach you, supposing you could live long enough to learn from your mistakes.
This is not say I like everything that Joseph has to say. When he says that you create your own successes by focusing on the positive and putting all negative thoughts out of your head... well, I tend to regard that way of thinking as somewhat simplistic. Certainly, it is a prerequisite for success, but there are no guarantees in life for anything you do.
The good news here is that once you have digested the material presented in the book it will be a WHOLE LOT easier to generate the kind of positive mindset, unwavering focus, and result-generating motivation that you need to secure success with women. This is simply a consequence of being adequately forearmed with a slew of new solutions to your dating problems at different dating sites.
As I have mentioned above, one of the things Joseph Matthews does extremely well with as a writer is reproducing scenes that happened to him. The dialog rings true and has just the right amount of humor to it. I think he could write screenplays if he decided to turn his hand to it. In fact, this is probably Joseph's greatest strength. When he writes about events that happened to him, you'll find the narrative highly entertaining, and you'll thorough enjoy what he has to relate to you.
But then there are segments in the book where Matthews The Pyschologist comes out and he will go on for page after page characteristing the aspects of human weakness that plague the man who is unable to find success with women
naughty dating site. Of course, he is right about this, but I only have so much patience when it comes to this kind of discourse. Perhaps it is because I encounter this same kind of material in every dating blog.
Either way, less would definitely be more in this situation. At around 350 pages in length, there is plenty of material that could be trimmed, and I would nominate the "think positive, diminish the negative" type oratory as candidate material for the editor's knife. In case you wonder why I bring this up, it is because it is not until page 109 that the author finally announces that it is time to begin Part One of his Theory Of Approaching. The first third of this book is just warm-up material!
Once you get there, though, you'll find a wealth of ideas and examples of openers (from reverse compliments, to sought opinions, to jokes) that you can use when approaching a naughty woman who is alone or with a group.
One thing that struck me as I went through these approaches is that the art of selling yourself to a woman has much in common with the direct response marketer who will adopt the attitude when selling that anything is permissible if it leads to the right response in the prospect. Matthews is not above telling stories (which are pure fabrication) to the women he meets, if it will initially gain him entry into their guarded realm. For some guys this may seem like a breach of ethics, but I would say it falls within the rules of the game.
One of the major strengths of "The Art Of Approaching" lies not in what Joseph Matthews has to tell us about how to succeed with women, but in the teachings of the many characters we come across as we read through the book. You'll encounter acquaintances from his days at school who manage to make you laugh, but Matthews also presents colorful characters like Mystery, Style, and Zan, and their stories are not only insightful, but always highly entertaining too.
The bottom line is that this big book on The Art of Approaching has plenty of content that is worth the time of any man who needs to improve his game with woman. Add it to your virtual shelf today.
