Too Ugly To Attract A Woman? Too Short? Learn How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths
Article Source: Dating Books For Men. Copyright 2008
Author: John Alexander
S P O T L I G H T
John Alexander is the author of
How To Become An Alpha Male
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre:
Are you a male cursed with a high-pitched voice? Or maybe you have a face that only a mother could love.
Whatever the obstacle, if you are worried about your perceived physical flaws, and this is preventing you from attracting the right woman, then I have some great news for you.
Not only can you downplay these flaws, you can turn them to your advantage. I will explain how using an example involving three guys who were very successful players in their day.
But first, a trivia question for you. What do Steve Tyler of Aerosmith, Curly from the Three Stooges, and the late rapper Eazy-E, all have in common?
The answer: high voices. So high in fact that, had they wanted to, they could easily have been mistaken for women in a phone conversation.
All three of these men could easily have decided to hang their heads in shame and turn into beta males who never managed to talk with women, let alone get laid by them.
In fact, I have coached many men who carry within them self-limiting beliefs that have their roots in things like their voice, their looks, their genetics, and so on. You name the trait, and there is always someone who uses that trait as a negative belief, and this in turn sabotages any chance they might have at success with women.
Yet, despite having a high voice, Tyler, Curly, and Eazy-E were all masters of a simple method that turned their "big flaw" into a huge trademark which made them super attractive to women.
I am talking about a simple technique that I learned while studying Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and it has the potential to help you in the kind of way that it did all three of these men.
To help develop confidence in my students, I have them learn and apply this technique. It is based on a concept called reframing.
Here is how reframing works. Essentially, you take every negative belief you have and turn it into a positive, uplifting question. You do it like this:
1. "I feel ashamed of my voice" becomes "How do I use my unique voice as a trademark which sets me apart from other guys?" (This is exactly what Tyler, Curly, and Eazy-E all did.)
2. "My face is pocked from acne" becomes "In what way is my face actually totally awesome? In what way can my lack of natural good looks actually help me engage women?"
3. "I'm too short" becomes "How can I use my height to my advantage?"
As you ponder these reframed questions, your brain will come up with answers.
As an example, you might discover that it is to your advantage not to be a "pretty boy." Women expect only good-looking guys to have the courage to talk to them, so when you are displaying confidence by talking with them, their guards will come down.
They will not be expecting you to try to pick them up. This gives you a window of opportunity in which you can display your confident, alpha male personality.
Being short can actually allow you to gain a measure of rapport more easily with girls than for taller guys. Tall men often have a psychological communication barrier because they are literally speaking down to girls (who tend to be shorter than them).
Remember, it is not your flaws that get in your way. It is your limiting beliefs that hamper you.
Your ugly face does not stop you from meeting women. Instead, your belief about your face interferes with your inner sense of confidence. It is that lack of confidence which women will pick up on.
For a woman to be attracted to you, your confidence level needs to be high. You simply need to appreciate that you can become comfortable with yourself by taking your flaws and turning them from weaknesses into traits that set you apart from the other guys out there.
So this is what I want you to do: get out a pen and write down your negative beliefs. Then write positive, uplifting questions which show how you can turn those flaws into good things about yourself.
By becoming happy and comfortable with all your traits, through the strategy of reframing, you will also become unstoppable in your degree of self-confidence and you will soon discover that girls are magnetically attracted to you.
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B Y T H E S A M E A U T H O R . . .
John Alexander is the author of
How To Become An Alpha Male
John Alexander, the author discussed in my How To Become An Alpha Male review, says that while most other dating books focus on WHAT to do to please the woman, the better approach is to concentrate instead on how to BECOME the man that women respond to.
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre, or read and in-depth review:
