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How to Start a Conversation With a Woman

Article Source: Dating Books For Men. Copyright 2008
Author: John Alexander

John Alexander is the author of How To Become An Alpha Male
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre:
Recently I experienced the easiest pick up and lay of my life, and it all began with me walking by a complete stranger and saying to her (in a clear, resonating voice and disinterested, but relaxed and sexual body language), "Hey."

She looked up, likely expecting me to say something witty.

Instead, my follow-up was simply, "Do you know where the smoothie place is? I'm in the mood for a smoothie."

From that point on, she kept the conversation going. Simple, right?

The key was this: I made sure that she was always reacting to me more than I was reacting to her.

When I began speaking to her, I honestly couldn't care less about what she thought of me.

My mindset was simply, "I am just going through my day. But hey, if this hot chick feels the need to earn my attention, that's cool. If not, I will enjoy my day just the same."

I have coached many guys, and the one mistake I most often see a guy make when he begins a conversation with a woman is that he attempts to get a response from her.

Maybe he will try too hard to make her laugh. Or he will start asking her weird questions that are inappropriate when speaking with a complete stranger (for example, "What's you major?" or "How is the day going for you?")

This sets her up with a higher value of the two.

This is not good, because whenever you set the girl up with the higher value (like when you are trying to win her approval), it causes her to lose whatever attraction she might have for you.

In all conversations there will be one person who is reacting more than the other. It is the person who is reacting less (is the more relaxed of the two) that assumes the dominant, or alpha, role.

The person hoping (trying) to win the other's approval will be the one who is more attracted. So a girl will feel compelled to struggle to keep the small talk going as long as she perceives that your value is higher than hers.

Women are attracted to men who present a challenge to them. If it later becomes clear that it is you who are trying to win her approval, then the challenge for her goes away and she loses interest.

Your goal, then, is to keep the alpha status and maintain control of the situation, right from the start. Be sure to never react too much to what the girl is saying to you. Always remain more relaxed than she does.

So the answer to the best way to initiate a conversation with a woman is this: Do not try. Do not invest yourself in what she thinks. Just say whatever you want.

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B Y   T H E   S A M E   A U T H O R . . .
John Alexander is the author of
How To Become An Alpha Male
John Alexander, the author discussed in my How To Become An Alpha Male review, says that while most other dating books focus on WHAT to do to please the woman, the better approach is to concentrate instead on how to BECOME the man that women respond to.
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre, or read and in-depth review: