How To Pick Up Women At The GymArticle Source: Dating Books For Men. Copyright 2008
Author: Michael Pilinski
S P O T L I G H T
is the author of Without Embarrassment
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The other day, while at my local gym where I work out all too-infrequently, I spotted the rare hot chick worth seriously checking out (my club, it turns out, is not quite the happy hunting grounds I had anticipated it might be on signing up). It occurred to me that gyms represent a kind of "so-near-yet-so-far" offering when it comes to meeting women, because despite the fact that there they are, prancing around in their skimpy workout gear, covered in a sexy sweat, the gym setting never quite seems right for approaching and flirting with them. Not like it does, say, in a nightclub. People working out in a gym are in a different frame of mind, and tend to broadcast an array of non-verbal "keep away" signals that only the brave dare challenge.
And yet, after experimenting a little with this, and thinking it though, I may have found a few nuggets buried amongst this wasteland. Here's how I see it:
1) If a woman is locked up in her own private i-pod universe, she is 95 percent likely to remain out of reach as far as the direct approach goes.
I-pods and portable radios present by far the largest portable cock-block mechanism that a woman can take to the gym. These chicks have encapsulated themselves in their own private world of music and are clearly attempting to block out the rest of the world. Even if you try to say something to them, and they respond by tearing off their headset to ask you to repeat yourself, they will be annoyed at having to do so, you will have an uphill battle trying to win her good graces.
I recommend you only make eye contact in this situation and, whenever possible, shoot them a friendly smile. Avoid trying to say anything to her (as she cannot hear you anyway). If you can get her to smile, then you may have a play. However, I generally try to store up this cache of goodwill and wait for an opportunity to act the next time I see her at the gym. I feel that patience is required here as women seem to be easily rattled by incursions into their mental workout zone. So you need to wear down those barriers before you attempt any kind of approach.
If you can generate repeated favorable eye response from her on later encounters, stopping to chat with her will seem a great deal less intrusive, as she has given you a possible green light for a conversation. Women know exactly how eye contact can be used to chill-out men OR lure them in. Because of this, you can be pretty sure any eye-contact read you are getting from them is fairly accurate - whether compelling or otherwise. Now, even though this laid-back approach to initiating contact with her might seem overly passive for the more impatient among you, just remember that if you are hoping to protect your ego and engage her "without embarrassment", then this approach is probably the best way to improve your chances of not being blown off in public.
2) You should have one loaded in the chamber so you are ready to go at all times.
Your encounters with attractive women in the gym setting will occur infrequently and will usually come as a complete surprise: by chance you bump into her at a water cooler, or while you are waiting mount a particular machine. To prepare for this eventuality, you will need to come up with something along the lines of a "custom compliment" which you have devised in advance of the occasion and have ready to use as your icebreaker for each and every woman you might have on your radar scope. You read that right - each one. So pay attention, and prepare yourself.
As an example, say you spot a chick who always warms up with an elaborate floor exercise which focuses on her abs. Make a mental note of this. Observe the routine closely. You ought to be looking for something unique that she does, like a particular move, or perhaps you notice the high number of reps she does. Link this observation up with something specific about this woman (assign her a private nickname, like "ab-work Annie" that's easy to remember) to form a lasting mental association
. Try to repeat this exercise every woman who desrves your attention, and slowly build up your catalog of astute observations which go along with each one.
Later, when you do
finally get a chance to exchange a few words with one of these charming ladies (I find that it always comes as a complete surprise) instead of bumbling around trying to say ANYTHING clever, you will have a cool and impressive opener already locked-and-loaded and ready to present to her: "I saw your floor set the other day - you have a pretty amazing ab routine." Then you launch into a subtle flirtation. "Looks like you're getting some fantastic results... Any chance you could take me through your routine and show me how it's done?" See how that's done? You serve her up a personalized compliment relevant to both the situation and to her. It would be hard for her not to feel at least a little flattered by your interest. Plus your remark makes sense -- she won't see it as just some canned pickup line.
This is how you Impress Her!
With luck, you may have scored yourself a kind of "mini date" with her, in which she shows you her workout routine. Either way, you've just made a friend who you can call out to on a first name basis (you did remember to get her name, right?) whenever you spot her at the gym, and if the vibes you get from her (be it eye contact, her smiles, or laughing at your stupid jokes) look promising, then at some stage it will be perfectly reasonable to escalate your interaction with her and try to get together outside of the gym. That's what it's about, right? And who knows? Who ever knows? Things might explode into something incredible and mind-numbingly romantic the instant you attempt any sort of interaction with a girl, or it could explode in your face like a trick cigar from one of those old time movies. You need to be ready for both of these eventualities, and either run with the opportunity or learn to let it roll off your back.
These are basic skills you will require for all levels of play when it comes to the challenge of seducing women.
3) Spinning at the gym is the best deal because it most closely approximates a nightclub environment.
Picture the lights down low and the dance music thumping away... Yeah baby! High-cardio spinning will pump up the same level of adrenaline and other juicy-juices in the body that dancing will - and you know how chicks respond when it comes to dancing and/or someone else's ability to dance!
Of course, spinning classes, aerobics, or whatever dance-type exercises you may be into, present the same kinds of problems that nightclubs do in that the levels of noise and "action-distraction" make it difficult to connect with a woman on anything but the most primitive level. Because of this you will probably have to make the most of the opportunity and put your moves on the hottie pedaling away next to you by using some sexy eye contact and other forms of body language. Of course, you might also get a chance to talk to her during the warm-ups or cool down period after the class ends. If so, make sure you have your custom compliment ready to go.
4) Breaking through will require repeated attempts.
Once again, the following advice may not jibe with the more impatient of you, but what can I tell you? The gym setting is a tough one, and people are not really in "the mood" for any sort of romantic offering on a first meet and greet. It may take several encounters with her to get her thinking about you in this way, if at all, so you have to play it cool. Pay her some attention when it seems right to do so, but do not do it slavishly. You have to walk a fine line here. Remember that it is the eyes which tell the story when it comes to women. When instinct tells you that you have secured the interest of a woman, then that's the time you need to surrender reason to your instinct and take action
. You'll know when the moment comes. This stuff is hardly rocket science - it is simply awareness plus motivation.
The fact is, gyms will probably never become the ideal place to meet women, but these techniques I have offered you may offer you a fighting chance to make hay in a poor situation. The way to see this is to accept whatever opportunities you can muster in the gym as additional fare to your other social activities - not as your as your primary means for meeting women.
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B Y T H E S A M E A U T H O R . . .
is the author of
Michael Pilinski, the author discussed in my Without Embarrassment review, is a deep-thinking battle-scarred woman's man, who has figured out how to ascend the Male Dominance Scale by which women grade men as a potential mate. Care to improve your score?
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