How To Get Laid this Summer!
Article Source: Dating Books For Men. Copyright 2008
Author: Michael Pilinski
S P O T L I G H T
Michael Pilinski is the author of
Without Embarrassment
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre:
Does anyone else find the endless flood of pseudo-science creeping into all this seduction stuff a little suspect? Whenever I hear talk of state changes and frames and modalities I begin to wonder if I am trying to flirt with a cute girl or land on the freakin moon!
Sheeesh! I live in the real world, and I try to develop strategies for guys which they can use in real life, even if they forgot to bring their slide rule along that day.
Let's face it, many of you guys would be doing well to pull just one memorable encounter with hot chick this next summer season, right? And who knows where a summer romance can lead? It's yet another opportunity to let your life play out like a spool of fishing line. You know... see what happens! So, it is in that spirit, that I'd like to show you how it was done in the good ol' days before everyone began walking around with a Blackberry in their pocket.
1) Get on Her Radar Screen
For men, significant eye contact always begins the process of attraction. That means if you are not displaying an intriguing visual to catch a woman's attention, you won't be getting a chance to charm her with your clever remarks.
So it's important to be presentable 24/7. Why? Because your best opportunities won't usually arise in places like party bars and other venues where being drunk and crushed together in close proximity is deemed acceptable behavior for meeting perfect strangers. No.
Your REAL chances tend to happen when you least expect them. Like when you are out at the convenience store grabbing a six pack, vegging out at the laundromat, or during other everyday events where some non-verbal signal of interest is required FIRST before you can expect to do anything. You turn the corner and there SHE is... boom! This means you must ALWAYS be presenting your attractive elements so that catching a woman's interest will be possible whenever you need it to be.
So upgrade yourself to the currently accepted style in your neck of the woods. Get some magazines, like GQ, Playboy, or Maxim, and figure out a look that is appropriate for your age and culture. Go shopping, take your sister (or a female "friend") for a woman's perspective, and don't be afraid to spend some money. Investing in yourself is never a waste of money. Design a style that you will be comfortable with, and then get comfortable walking around in it. Get yourself to the point that you think will get chicks in your world to shoot you "The Eye".
All things romantic initially flow from manifestations of eye contact. It really is the Holy Grail of hooking up! A woman initiates the pre-romantic get-a-feel-on-the-guy process by giving her "hello eyes" to any guy who looks interesting to her. You know - that soul-penetrating look of hers that lingers a beat longer than it should? But if there isn't anything particular about the way you look or seem to carry yourself, those hello looks will become few and far between for you. In that case, in order to get
anywhere, you will be required to force the ball by going where you have not been invited... and moving in without a clear signal can not only be a frustrating way to play this game, it becomes a much harder one to win.
2) Act Immediately on the Slightest Signal
Speaking of those hello eyes, when you do get that signal you are ON. Don't hesitate. Because any time that a woman takes a liking to a guy she will only put out ONE strong "move on me" signal. Just the one. If you hesitate, she'll take that as a rejection, close down on you, and quickly find any excuse to slip away.
Lingering eye contact means just two things: 1) that she's interested, and 2) she's
FREE! (or at least open to the idea of a new romantic interest).
Train yourself not to think too much in these situations - just
Drop Dead and Smile (DDS). "Drop dead" means you need to train yourself to suppress all fidgety movements that betray the unease of the low status male. Your aim is to come across like the calm-and-collected guy who meets and interacts with women regularly. To do this, you need to condition yourself. Store that DDS reflex in the back of your mind
at all times and bring it out it whenever you come across a cute chick. No thinking.
Reflex!
Instead of "freezing-up", which you may already be doing routinely, you replace the destructive habit with the new one that gets you somewhere. Use calm-guy attitude to your favor by combining it with a SMILE rather than a deer-in-the-headlights death gaze.
Be sure to control yourself, but do offer her just a flash of that wide-eyed look. The idea is to make her believe that she has momentarily
stunned you, and you are now wrestling with yourself to remain calm. You will want this little blip to register with her in a NON-verbal way, since that is the only way anything romantic counts when it comes to women.
Once you have "mind-over-matter" quelled your jitters, just say "hi". Be cool, relaxed and casual. Smile without showing too much teeth and hold solid eye contact with her. Don't try to be overly clever and force out a canned pick up line that you read someplace - because the odds are 9 to 1 that you'll screw it up and make an ass of yourself. Nothing overly cute is required, or even desired at this stage. It's just one-person-to-another contact, reasonable and sane. That is all you are looking to project to her. Sanity and Safety.
The buttery smoothness that you exhibit to her makes you immediately seem like an extroverted, approachable, and fun guy, which is why I suggest you to drill this DDS move into your skull until it becomes a reflex. It's a simple move that results in an effective first impression, and as you know, a rocking first impression is crucial with women.
After you have made casual contact, WATCH HER EYES.
Everything to do with women and men in a romantic sense flows from their eye contact - everything. Scientists who study this stuff speak of the "copulatory gaze" that humans negotiate during a mating event. To some extent, eye contact is important for all phases of a relationship - from the first glance, all the way through to the moments of orgasmic pleasure in the bedroom. Copulatory gazing in all its various manifestations is pivotal to everything romantic and sexual. If she holds eye contact with you (and smiles even slightly) then you have a live one on your hands!
3) Forget the Phone Number. Go for a "Soft" Social Commitment in the Near Future
In my book
Without Embarrassment I talk about creating customized "business" cards that you can present to interesting women wherever you happen to find them. That way, if you are out on a beer run, or you are getting some gas, and you spot her - well, you won't have to think about it, you don't need to rummage for a pen and some paper to get her number, your card it right there in your pocket, ready to be handed to her.
After a brief exchange, simply offer to meet her somewhere within the next 1-3 days at some common ground, some "happening" place? A nightclub, a corner bar, a local event, bowling alley... whatever. Anything that fits your particular style and surroundings and is a place at which you would normally frequent. Figure out what actual place this would be
in advance, and stored that information away in your brain ready to be used at a moment's notice.
Then just
invite (not "ask", and certainly don't beg) her to meet you at ABC Club this Friday night - Hey, they have great steamed clams or Buffalo wings (or whatever else is cool about the joint). Make it a safe, public venue that you like to hang out at, and some place she would likely know about if she lives in the area. Invite her to meet you there for a drink, or coffee, or to watch you play softball. "You seem very charming (cool, or fun-loving)" is all you need to say.
Simple words spoken WHERE THEY ARE WELCOME will really get her attention.
Inviting her to a public partying spot has another benefit: it makes you seem like a social, happening guy. You tantalizing her when you ask her to
join your world, as opposed to begging her for her number, which is the mark of the low status male. These impressions may be subliminal, but they are important and psychologically powerful. This is how she gets a quick "read" on the type of guy you are - and decides if she would like to get to know you better.
Remember, the world rewards those who are in the arena fighting, and ignore those who stand by idly.
Exchange names with her, and give her my handshake trick (it's spelled out in my book) and say goodbye for now. Try to think of this almost as if you are out recruiting stray women to pack the club - as if you are in charge of filling the table for a buddy's bachelor party. Mind tricks like these can help you stay motivated.
On "meet-up day", show up at the appointed venue dressed stylishly. Try to be in a good mood and have some cash available in your wallet, and a condom at the ready. Don't be a chump - be the High Status Male, and play logically, sensibly and for real. When you see her again, introduce yourself and
tell her your name - just in case she has forgot it. Women get nervous, and their brains can blank out just as easily as yours can in a first-meet situation. It's not a problem - you get to be the cool, gracious, and charming guy all over again!
The rest is up to chemistry, a little luck that she happens to be in the right frame of mind, and your continued success at connecting with her emotionally. Use humor, but don't be a clown. Stay sober, and give her deep looks (eye contact, remember?) and touch her in a classy fashion whenever appropriate in short bursts of closeness. Build the passion slowly but steadily. And
escalate if she takes the bait. Just don't let the fire go out - you rarely get second chances with this stuff.
4) Be a Man with a Plan
I know that many of you guys have a favorite haunt you frequent on a particular day like clockwork, or a happy hour where you and friends meet every Friday at 5 PM or whatever. If that's the case, you should be spending the rest of the week looking to casually meet women wherever you find them, and point them there! Make it into a hobby of yours. Hey, if only HALF of these stray women show up, you will still have a shot at working someone you "already know" maybe every other week or so. This is much easier than having to work like a ditch-digger trying to meet someone new from scratch every time you go out.
Think of it like you are gathering leads to attend a sales meeting - you are offering a free admission and a free drink as a door-prize just for attending! Use your head. And who knows - you might even get
two hotties to show up looking for you on the same night. Catfight anyone?
If you work this 4-step deal throughout the summer, you will get laid at some point.
~ // ~
B Y T H E S A M E A U T H O R . . .
Michael Pilinski is the author of
Without Embarrassment
Michael Pilinski, the author discussed in my Without Embarrassment review, is a deep-thinking battle-scarred woman's man, who has figured out how to ascend the Male Dominance Scale by which women grade men as a potential mate. Care to improve your score?
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre, or read and in-depth review:
