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Got Yourself A Girlfriend? Here's How Not to Screw It Up

Article Source: Dating Books For Men. Copyright 2008
Author: John Alexander

John Alexander is the author of How To Become An Alpha Male
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre:
It can be a dangerous thing to have a girlfriend. We can become so dependent on our woman for our happiness that, if we get dumped, we suddenly discover that we have lost all of our confidence. The result is that we go without sex for many months, until we manage to get a new girlfriend, and the cycle repeats itself.

To break this cycle, what we need to do is REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male.

The thing is, relationships often make us guys overly lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose the "high value" mindset that is critical to continued relationship success. Let me reiterate: it is crucial that we keep the alpha male mindset that says, "I am like a Lamborghini."

Ask yourself this: Do the Lamborghini dealerships grovel in an attempt to get people to like them? No, they do not. Instead they simply wait for the buyers to come to them. Hell, the Lamborghini company doesn't even advertise. As an alpha male, you must develop a similar confident mindset if you intend to maximize the level of attraction your woman feels for you.

But how do you go about keeping that alpha mindset? Primarily, you need to avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic principle which should prevent her from ever treating you badly is something I call Punishment and Reward.

If a woman should engage in behavior that you disapprove of, simply punish her by withholding your time and instead focus on something (or someone) else. Conversely, if she should do something you like (such as having sex with you), you should reward her by giving more of your time, and talking about her feelings, etc.

Whenever you do something nice for her, it should be because you are rewarding her. And DO reward her for good behavior - at least if you hope to see more of it. As I said, Punishment and Reward.

Then there is the issue of you being a challenge to her. Women will act sweet when they perceive that you are a challenge to them. They will act bitchy when they are able to take you for granted and do not feel as though they need make an effort to win your affections.

Often, by the sixth month of a relationship, a woman will really start to take a guy for granted. So try to avoid this by remaining a challenge to her.

The solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships with women is threefold:

1. Be willing to focus your time and energy on things that do not involve your girlfriend. Under no circumstances do you reward her for bitchy behavior by hanging around her when she acts this way. On the other hand, reward her for good behavior by extending to her more of your time.

2. Have it in the back of your mind that you can end this relationship at any time. Never explicitly threaten her with this possibility, but nonetheless float the idea through subtle implication. This way she will never become overly comfortable with your relationship and will be forced to keep working to win you.

3. Allow her to believe that she is just a bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be subtle, but (for example) if you are telling her ten times a day that you love her, and she only tells you this twice, then clearly your relationship is out of whack.

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B Y   T H E   S A M E   A U T H O R . . .
John Alexander is the author of
How To Become An Alpha Male
John Alexander, the author discussed in my How To Become An Alpha Male review, says that while most other dating books focus on WHAT to do to please the woman, the better approach is to concentrate instead on how to BECOME the man that women respond to.
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre, or read and in-depth review: