Even If You Are Ugly, You Can Attract WomenArticle Source: Dating Books For Men. Copyright 2008
Author: Joseph Matthews
S P O T L I G H T
is the author of The Art Of Approaching
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It seems the biggest concern my students deal with is their presumption of being too ugly to attract women.
Their insecurity comes from their various aspects and natures, such as some of them think they may be too:
Some guys think they're too old.
Some men think they are too fat.
Some men think they are too short.
Some think they're too ugly.
Because of this, these men feel they are helpless when it comes to getting the kind of woman they desire.
This simply is not the truth.
We should take just a moment to drive out these few myths of attraction, since they do hold many men back from having a successful love life.
Myth #1 - You must be good looking to attract women.
Take a good look around and take not of the different types of men who date attractive women, and you can see this is not true.
Of course it is essential to look good, however, it you do not have to be good looking.
Is there a difference?
Well, you can't help if you're good looking or not. But you have COMPLETE control over how you present yourself. You control the type of clothes you wear, how you groom yourself, how you wear your hair, how you smell, etc.
These are all aspects that factor into looking good.
Even the most average looking guy can be attractive when he takes control of his appearance.
Myth #2 - Women and Men Think Alike
It's natural to assume that everyone else in the world sees things the same way you see them.
For instance - If you've ever had a pimple on your forehead that felt so big, it was like everyone could see it. But the pimple was under the skin, and in reality, no one but you could tell it was there.
Very few people if any will notice, while to you it is obvious.
Keep in mind that this method is generally in use when it comes to assessing any individual. Based on her looks you judge a woman, while sizing the woman up visually and then you decide if you think she is attractive, right.
You naturally assume that women size you up in the same manner.
Women have different criteria for determining attraction than men do. That's not to say they don't care if a man is attractive or not. But they don't place as much importance on physical characteristics as us guys do.
Women find attraction by how a man makes them feel, more so than how he may physically appear. This explains their attraction to social status and confidence. Men who make them laugh, are good at what they do attract women. Physical looks has very little to do with whether a woman is attracted to a man.
Myth #3 - Women Notice Our Insecurities
Understand that we know ourselves better than anyone else ever will. We are able to pick out every single flaw there is about ourselves - our big ears, big nose, weak chin, receding hairline...
No matter what it is, we see it!
Since we see it very plainly, we merely assume everyone else can too. Nevertheless, many individuals are not observant at all, unless they search for and issue to analyze about you. If you have insecurities, as we all do most likely they wont even care, since we all focus so highly of our own.
Do you know that most women are not aware of your insecurities and only notice them when you call their attention to them? So forget about your insecurities rather than trying to diffuse or dismiss them by calling the attention of others as to why you may think you are ugly.
Keep in mind that insecurities and anxiety are completely unattractive.
It's important, in every situation, that you always focus on the good stuff about you, instead of your shortcomings, and have the positives outshine the negatives.
Myth #4 - Good Looking Guys Have It Easy
This is probably the biggest myth there is - that if a guy is good looking, girls will automatically flock to him.
Physical attractiveness may initially assist, however ultimately, good looking men suffer from the same types of problems as other men, while managing their own types of struggles with women they find attractive.
Attraction is the art of magnifying the emotional connection that a woman feels for you, when you are around, this connection will only occur when you are around her, therefore to feel those feelings she will want you to be around her.
If a man matches a woman's physical type, she'll gravitate to him because those features make her feel good. But if the guy is boring, or a jerk, or just not compatible, those feelings will go away.
For example, take a man that a woman is not physically attracted to initially and then give them some time while he causes her to experience pleasure, excitement and fun, eventually, she will become attracted to him.
Making others feel good causes them to want to be with you, this is a fundamental of attraction.
You need to learn how to interact with women, since you do not have to be a good looking man to make women feel good.
The second part of connect with women is generating sexual attraction.
This is where, in addition to making people feel good, you also turn them on.
This is where the aspect of seduction comes into play.
Despite any shortcoming you may think you have, once you begin leading a woman down the path of sexual attraction, she begins to see you in a much different light, so you do not have to look like the cover guy on GQ.
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B Y T H E S A M E A U T H O R . . .
is the author of
The Art Of Approaching
Joseph Matthews, the author discussed in my The Art Of Approaching review, believes 10 percent of males enjoy 90 percent of the success when it comes to dating women. His aim is to put YOU into that 10 percent using 350+ pages of solid dating advice.
To learn more about how this book compares with others in its genre, or read and in-depth review: