Christian Dating Advice For MenArticle Source: Dating Books For Men. Copyright 2008
Author: Joseph Matthews
S P O T L I G H T
is the author of The Art Of Approaching
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Balancing our beliefs and desires is an ever acting characteristic in a humans life, we strive do this all the time.
We all struggle as men with our faith and urges; however, we can learn how to fit these two qualities together, by learning new perspectives.
It is natural to want to stay true to what we believe in. And for most Christian men, it is important that love occur within the boundaries of church.
These boundaries include sex and marriage.
Whether we follow it or not, there are validities of free will choices at work here and it is not for us to judge this belief.
Ancient philosophy informs us that partaking of sex with one another mingles a piece of our soul with the other and then continues with us forever.
The doctrine to keep your virginity for your wife is a wise one, when you consider this in some respect.
Ultimately, this presents a distinctive confrontation for men who wish to remain true to their faith.
To enable yourself to continue attracting a woman, while fostering a relationship as you wait for marriage is achievable, however, you must take note of a few perspectives.
After all - sex is important! Getting married to someone who's sexually incompatible with you can be a very difficult union to be in.
Here is some advice I've come up with specifically for men who face this issue of romance vs. faith.
1. Be clear about what you believe.
Our faith is meant to guide us through life. Because of this, it is very important to be clear on what it is you believe.
We all have free will, the ability to think and reason, this is God's gift to us. We look at all our options while deciding which path we each take. Some of us take it all in and keep what teaching reverberates within our higher self, while others embrace all of their churches teachings.
You must refine and clarify your beliefs and then stick to them, no matter your choices.
2. Be aware that God has a plan for you.
Keep your faith in knowing God has a plan to unite you and the woman who is meant for you.
Since you have free will, you have to take action while striving to take advantage of all opportunities presented to you. Remember, God can only do so much.
To find the right woman for you, you must be proactive.
Going out to meet women, getting to know them and dating are not things that just happen unexpectedly. You have to make it happen. Your beliefs help you stay on the plan for your life.
3. Virginity is not a mystical treasure.
Sex is simply an act, whether virginity is in question or not. It comes naturally as does walking, talking and breathing. We do these things.
God meant for man to be fruitful and multiply. We are meant to have sex. It is one of God's greatest gifts. If we were not meant to have sex, He would not have made it pleasurable.
So to look at your virginity as something sacred is not helpful. Virginity is meant to be lost - the real challenge is finding the right person to lose it to!
Sex of course is an aspect of spirituality. It is one in which you find the person who makes you feel alive, loved and completed. This is distinct from the sexual act, since it vibrates within a higher level of your soul.
It is this type of intimacy you should strive to achieve before marriage, because this will help you to know if the physical aspect will be in tune as well.
Do not be afraid to be intimate with women! Kissing, hugging, touching - this is all fine. But sharing your hopes and dreams, staring deep into her eyes and feeling her inner-most desires... that is where true intimacy stems from.
4. Look at women as real people, and do not put them on a pedestal.
You might be tempted to place a woman on a pedestal when your faith places sex as so important.
You may think of a woman as some delicate flower goddess that is treated special and treasured.
But women are no different from me. God cut us both from the same cloth. To treat a woman as though she is special, just because you are sexually attracted to her, is not the same as respecting her.
We can easily love an ideal, yet our challenge is to love the reality of a woman. When she is hungry, she may be cranky, she awakens each day with morning breath and she expects you to take out the garbage, this is reality.
We have to learn to love the reality of women, and not idealize them. Realize that sex is just one aspect to the females of our species. And that being human, we all share similar traits.
Understanding that women as people are just like men, this enables us to gain a better perspective of whether we are meant to share our lives with them.
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B Y T H E S A M E A U T H O R . . .
is the author of
The Art Of Approaching
Joseph Matthews, the author discussed in my The Art Of Approaching review, believes 10 percent of males enjoy 90 percent of the success when it comes to dating women. His aim is to put YOU into that 10 percent using 350+ pages of solid dating advice.
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